It's easy to become a sanctioned Stop Resisting Deputy. At any Stop Resisting show, simply approach any Stop Resisting Officer and ask to apply to be an official Deputy. Approval is quick and automatic. Here's what you'll be entitled to:

• An official Stop Resisting Deputy uniform
• Your very own Dick name (your choice!)
• A free drink, on the band, at every show you proudly wear your uniform
• Immunity from prosecution for a myriad of crimes (including, but not limited to, abuse, assault, manslaughter, rape, and murder)
• Inclusion in the online list of Deputies
• Fear and respect of the civilian populace
• ...more perks as we make them up!

All that's required of you is a small twenty dollar filing fee. We won't ask where you got it.